-ONE DAY,IT WON'T BE ENOUGH-

                 One day it’s not going to be enough. These inside jokes, that comfortableness that no one else holds, the chemistry that never went away in your transition from lovers to friends and back every now and then — it will all suddenly not be enough. You’ll soon realize those small moments of happiness actually don’t add up to anything much, won’t add up to what you really want, what you actually deserve. But you won’t realize this right away. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes even years to get to this point, because throughout that whole time you will convince yourself that it’s okay, that you don’t need anything more. That if they’re happy, then you’re happy and that’s all that matters, that’s all that matters as long as it means you get to be together in some way, any way, even if it’s just as friends as far as anyone knows, or lovers behind closed doors. But the thing is, eventually you’ll want something more (as you always did all along except you just got good at denying yourself of that fact) and you will go on the spectrum from smiling more than hurting to the heartbreaking opposite of that. And one day, you’ll come to conclusion that this is it, I can’t take it anymore and you’ll realize the change you’ve been waiting forever for is never going to come like you had hoped it would have a long time ago.

#writing my heart out